The Films of Joan Crawford

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"The freeway is fun!" (Especially with a front seat driver!)

For those people who stand around gossiping about Joan's husbands and cheeses (as one fan put it) and how many films in which she appeared as a blonde (as Rome burns), this trivia test is just your cuppa!  And even if you don't gossip, try it on for size!  It might put you on the Road to Ruin! 


Please note that only those silents reviewed on this site are included in the quiz.  Some silents are not currently available and a few, tragically, may be lost.  I hope to track down whatever remains eventually and then will incorporate them into the mix.  As Wally Fay says in "Mildred Pierce," "We live in hope."


Answers will follow below.  No cheating!


1.  Where in the World is Pepsi?


Have you searched for Alfred Hitchcock's cameos in his films, proud that you could pick out that corpulent profile?  How adept are you at spotting soda?  After marrying fourth husband, Pepsi bigwig Alfred Steele, Joan Crawford gave her usual 2,000 percent by promoting the product everywhere even in the remotest corner of Africa to tribes without shoes!  She also was a pioneer in product placement, displaying and featuring the Pepsi logo, discreetly and not, in her films.  Prior to becoming loyal ambassadress to Pepsi, Crawford actually endorsed Coke -- and every other product under the sun (see my "Torch Song" review for her Peter Pan bra ad and wonder no more about that "bullet point breasts" look of the 50's)! 


According to a Vanity Fair article called “The Lipstick Jungle” about the making of “The Best of Everything,” when producer Jerry Wald asked her to introduce a young actress in a test scene, Crawford insisted on playing the scene holding a bottle of Pepsi.  Dierctor Jean Negulesco objected, “to which she said, ‘No Pepsi-Cola bottle, and Joan Crawford goes home.’  He replied, ‘No, Joan.  Pepsi-Cola stays, but Negulesco goes home.’”  Crawford cried.   Guess she never thought of wearing Pepsi earrings!


How many Pepsi placements have you spotted?  Name the film and the spot. 
2.  Joan in LIVING COLOR! 
How many films featured Joan in color (television excluded, mind)?  Name the films.
3.  No Tears in Your Vodka - Films in Which Joan Didn't Cry.

We all know Joan could put on the waterworks on and offscreen.  Cliff Robertson, her co-star in "Autumn Leaves," even recalled with amazement that she would ask "which eye" a director wanted the tear to come from. But in which films did she remain dry-eyed?


4.  Which films did Joan swim in?


5.  In which films was Joan an actual shopgirl?


6.  Which films did Joan dance in?  (The answer might surprise you!)


7.  In how many films did Joan -- gasp! -- die?


8.  In which films did Joan give her signature "double slap?"  (The technique that could come in very useful in our own lives with some deserving people...)  (Yeah, go for it!  I know there are plenty of you out there who notice even the way Joan shakes hands, holding the palm up!)


9.  In which films did Joan sing?  Extra points if you can name that tune!


10.  In which films was Joan a blonde?


11.  In which films did Joan wear a wedding gown? 


12.  Match Joan's profession to the film.


a.  blackmailer                       1.   Sudden Fear

b.  senator                             2.   Grand Hotel

c.  anthropologist                    3.   Autumn Leaves

d.  novelist                             4.   Ice Follies of 1939

e.  playwright                         5.   The Women

f.   stenographer                     6.   Daisy Kenyon

g.  illustrator                           7.   Goodbye My Fancy 

h.  salesgirl                             8.   A Woman's Face

i.   movie star                          9.   When Ladies Meet

j.   typist                                10.   Trog    


Get out your Number 2 pencils and think, think, think before looking at the answers, kids.  Don't bite on your erasers either! 


Satin bedcovers. What else? Loungers need fine settings!

Bent leg technique of lounging

Oh, Joan, you do languid so damn beautifully! Look at that twist in the hip!